Sanctuary: A Vehement Discourse

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Much Afraid


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I never knew how difficult teaching would be. I am thinking of early retirement. Has anyone ever retired before age 30? I have a goup of boys who have obviously been infantized as children, constantly talking in their whiny, dramatic baby voices. Baby talk and whininess are two of my pet peeves. These kids are not two anymore. I've decided that there will be no more nice. I will no longer be nice, I will not hand out awards for best behaved. I get a total of ten minutes a day of silence, if that. From this point on, I am going to be the evil teacher that no one wants. This thrills me. I understand, now, why my grade six teacher would break down in tears on a daily basis. My drive home is tear filled. I won't let the kids see it, but I cry. I thought it would be fun to teach my love of literature, and history. These kids have made it difficult for me to even like it anymore. I do, however, like the younger grades. I think the kids look at me as a big sister. They are always hanging on me and making me play hula hoops for recess. I can't hula hoop just for the records.
I took Friday off. It was a nice break, and I got to see JD's family. Unfortunately his grandparents were too sick and requested no visitors, so I ended up going to a football game, and hockey game instead. Throughout the whole football game I had the sun in my eyes, and a mother in law asking me why I was so pale and why I had my winter jacket on, and what was JD doing to me to make me so sick. She's a nut, but I love her. I didn't want to watch the game. I was too cold, not feeling well, and my mind was elsewhere. We spent the afternoon shopping for inscence and looking through this store called The Circle Game. Its kind of a hippy shop, but it has a lot of nice things in it. I wanted to buy the Nag Chompa inscence, but instead we got a combination of Sandal Wood, Apple, and Vanilla sticks. They smell fantastic.
The rest of the afternoon I spent watching Sponge Bob, and Malcom in the Middle with JD and the Wilkinsons (sounds like a country band, JD and the Wilkinsons...he he). The hockey game was interesting. I sat with Natalie, one of JD's sisters, and we read some girl's text messaging. She was sitting infront of us and making her messaging quite obvious to those sitting behind her. Basically that was my day. I wish I could share more, tell how I really feel, but I can't.
posted by ria at 1:41 PM